relationships... part one

I am going to jump all over in this post, I hope by the end I have managed to tie it together.  Well, maybe hope is too strong a word.  It would be nice if it did.  But since no one reads this, it doesn't really matter does it? ;-) 

We all have friends.  I assume most people are like me and have a variety of friends that fit the different aspects of our personalites.  There are the ones I get together with to be crafty, to cook, to gossip, to laugh, to talk deep thoughts, or just because our kids get along.  Some are superficial, some aren't.


There are some friends that I feel I have a deep connection to that has nothing to do with common interests.  Not just my BFF, as would be expected.  I am talking people I seem to have a psychic connection to that has nothing to do with the amount of time spent with each other.  A girl from grade school that I never hung out with much until just recently, an internet friend that is half way across the US.  I'm not sure why the first has reentered my life - I'm not sure whether it will last, or if we are just supposed to teach other lessons right now in life.  The second I strongly feel a past life connection to. 

Having a connection with someone does not necessarily mean you understand each other.  If anything, I feel a deeper (higher? older?) part of them recognizes a deeper (higher? older?)  part of me.  And so are we drawn to each other because of links/contracts we have to each other, or simply because we have trod similar/the same paths in the past?  In either case, a deeper understanding does not mean a current understanding. I still have the same break downs of communication with them as with most acquaintances/casual friends in my life.  What do these girls have in common?  They are both very private in regards to their thoughts.  I could run over their toes, and I'm not sure either would cuss me out.  This bothers me, because I need some redirecting in friendships quite often.  Are they in my life to teach me to redirect myself?  To pay more attention to social cues from others / psychic nuances?  Or am I in their life to teach them to speak up? I know it is en vogue right now to not admit you are wrong/take correction without taking offense.  I spent so many years like that, and it has no place in my life right now.  I like direction in a relationship, I like candor, I like straight shooting.

Lately (in various relationships) I will pick up the feeling that I have managed to annoy/upset someone.  And sometimes I am aware of how, sometimes I am not.  I'm not entirely sure what I am supposed to do with this.  At the moment, I am noticing that I notice.  I am also noticing when someone drops a shield to block their feelings from me.  Not that I EVER invade anyone's privacy, but we all project our feelings to a certain degree, and when someone closes up that tight, it is noticeable. 

To be continued...