Adrift

Sometimes I feel like I'm adrift, floating. I know there is land in any direction, but I just can't seem to pick a direction. Where am I going? Why? It's a mix of trying to find out who I am, who I was, who I'm meant to be. Of where I'm coming from, where I'm at, where I'm going, and where ultimately I'm meant to end up. I suppose we all have the same issues from time to time. While that provides some measure of comfort, it doesn't make the journey any easier. The fact remains that I am here, looking at myself, wondering how I got here. I love my life, I love my children, and yet this lack of movement is paralyzing me. It's a paradox. If I could move, I wouldn't be paralyzed. If I wasn't paralyzed, I could move. I keep waiting for signs from above. Which I'm sure are arriving regularly, I'm just so mired down that I'm not seeing them. I am ready to raise my eyes. I am ready to remove the veil from my eyes. I am ready to SEE, and most of all I am ready to BE. I am ready to BE all that I am, all that I have always been, all that I have managed to hide from myself and/or the world. I am ready to start swimming. Get ready, world!!